Did something wild and crazy...

I dyed my hair blonde for the first time {The time I dyed my hair orange for a week does NOT count} in 9 years. Anddd....I LOVE it! I spent 5 hours at the salon getting my hair done...kid free may I add. {Love that Daddy has two days off a week so I can make appointments.}

My hairstylist said it suits me better and I was shocked to learn that my hubby likes it!

Cannot wait for my other friends to see it.

Family Ties

So I am happy to report that Wednesday evening's coffee with my father was a success. I will start at the very beginning.

We left the house at around 6:20ish to make it down the street at the nearest McDonald's for 6:30. I told Willow we were going to see her grandpa and she simply said "grandpa." I thought it was so cute. Of course the butterflies were fluttering in my stomach and I was hoping everything would go okay. As we got up to the restaurant my dad was already there and Willow and I grabbed a table and my dad brought the items we ordered over. He then gave me a big hug and showed Willow the Tigger stuffie he brought her.

 

So we sat and we talked and I told him everything I had to tell him from the past two years. It was like we hadn't missed a beat and like everything was back to normal..but better. He took pictures and video of Willow and then played with her. And he at one point went up to get us drinks and Willow was standing by me so I asked her, "Where's Grandpa?" And she ran up to the front of the store pointed at him and said "There he is!" My heart melted. 

After we sat for a bit more then my dad walked us home. Gave me a big hug and gave Willow a hug and kiss and told me he will see me once a month. Which I thought is really cool. 

So glad to have him back in my life...next step is to smooth things over with my grandmother. 

Its been 2 years

So tomorrow I am meeting my dad for coffee for the first time in almost 2 years. How do I feel about it? Well I'm excited about it. I am also nervous as hell. It will be the first time he has met his grand daughter. Also, I have to keep it a secret from my mother and brother. Its not a good subject to discuss with them and I know my mom will have a thing or two to say about it.

So i am going into this alone with just the hopes and prayers that everything goes well tomorrow.

Fed up.

So I am absolutely ticked off. I am ready to throw in the towel and quit. In fact i think im going to quit in August. Get my program from elsewhere. I just have to keep it together till then.

I am tired of the bullshit. I am sick of walking around on eggshells so I will pay to do the exact same course from home. Its retarded that I have to sit in that classroom when i have so much better things to do with my time.

Feeling good

Well I must admit I am feeling better these days. Being on the mood stabilizer makes me more able to function in daily activities as well as being on 90 mg of my antidepressant. I am keeping up with chores around the house and I have more energy overall.

I think by the time I am done my course I will have been regular on my pills enough that I will be at a high enough function rate.

Like I said 2012 is going to be a great year!!

Married life is Grand

Ok, you know how when you mix friends with alcohol...shit usually happens right? Well, I tend to make friends with all the wrong people and the following happened with a friend whom I am no longer friends with.

Theres this girl I was friends with we will call her miss J for confidentiality purposes. Well she had guy issues and I suffered from bored housewife/bipolar (completely in the dark about the latter) So when she had troubles we usually worked together to get back at men.

Well of course I didn‘t tell my husband cause he would be like “don‘t be dumb“ and I didn‘t want to hear that. But I actually made a friend on one of the websites and my hubby found out. It has been 2 years since I have done anything of the sort. And now he doesnt trust me...
Which is just fanfuckingtastic.

Meanwhile, he is having friends who are female and carrying on via text with them.

Marriage is grand.

Academic Probation.

Having a mental illness blows balls. No one gives a shit and apparently you don't  have any excuse not to be in school. I was put on academic probation today because I have missed 15 days of school. Ah well. I will just hike up my socks and go every day even if it's just to sit there. And I am going to have to do that for the next ten months.

So lame. Considering I am almost at the midterm and then I have all my transcripting to do. I know I will be done early...so I will sit in that room and just relax, read a book, surf the internet...whatever I want. If they want my ass in the chair that's fine. I'll be there.

That is all  =)

So freaking Angry!!

Ok, so I have a bone to pick with my school. I have been waiting for my student loan to come in for 6 weeks now. Little do I know that it arrived last week and I wasn't going to receive it until May!!!!! WTF?!?!?! Also the director of my school told me to budget better! She also told me that I should have had money to last me until May. I let it slide. Then I tried to make an appointment when a friend of mine could take me down there to sign for it and apparently I have to go to class to negotiate my loan and sign for it! By this time I was furious. I vented. I flipped shit. How fucking dare anyone make me feel like a child when in reality I‘m a grown ass woman.

So I am hoping when I go in there I don‘t have to be subject to any criticism. I will not be able to control myself.

Hiatus from Social Networking

I have taken a hiatus from Facebook. I have tried the whole not having Facebook before and I always cave after a couple of days...but this time I want to see if I really need it. Or is it simply a crutch and I am as creepy as I think I am peering into the lives of about 150 people or so. I don't need to know who got married, had a baby, especially if I have not seen them since high school or even earlier.

I don't need 500 facebook friends to make me feel needed loved and wanted. I need my husband. My baby. My family and close-knit friends. So we will see how long I last.