Regrets

In a matter of three weeks my baby will be 2 years old. I cannot believe how fast that went...it feels like we just had her home from the hospital. Now, I could not believe how fast it has gone. I know people told me that time flies when you have children but it seems like I am on fast forward. This whole year has been a blur, and I wonder if it's my illness...but I can relive 2011 like it was yesterday. I don't know if I am stuck there or what but I feel like a part of me was left back in last year. And this year is almost over. :(

I think part of me feels guilty for missing a lot of my child's first year and a half...due to the fact that I had to work and Anthony was qualified for the nine months off. I don't resent him for being able to have that time with her...I believe every father if it's possible should have the experience. I don't know what it is, but the one side of the bipolar makes me regret not being there when my daughter needed me. I guess I have a lot of regrets for 2011.

Oh well. I will make the rest of her years better. Starting from now.